Rushing Spanks Henderson To Advance

This much anticipated matchup between State Rep. Laurie Rushing and her boyfriend State Rep. Ken Henderson sadly failed to live up to the pre-game hype. Rushing, never one to miss a chance to advance herself at the expense of someone…

Rapert Smokes Cox In Second Round

In a matchup where the pre-game prayer took 45 minutes and had many in attendance falling asleep, noted bigot State Sen. Jason Rapert pulled out to an early lead on noted bigot Jerry Cox. Both players claimed to have Jesus…

Stodola Advances Over One Of The Meekses

We’re 65% sure that it was Stephen Meeks who won the first-round matchup of Meeks brothers, though, again, they are so similarly indistinguishable in their worthlessness that we can’t be positive. Regardless of which one it was, they were no…

Morgan Blasts Milligan In Big Win

The main thing you need to know about State Treasurer Dennis Milligan is that he is lazy beyond belief. He likes holding elected office because then he doesn’t actually have to do any work and can just feel smug about…

Huckabee Squeaks Past Story In Sloppy Win

After what was essentially a first-round bye for Huckabee, questions still lingered about whether his game was suited for a modern tournament or whether time had passed him by. Luckily for Huck, his second-round matchup was with lawyer and Ballinger-wannabe…

Cagey Griffin Out-Maneuvers Hawkins

Bruce Hawkins’ ability to rig the first-round matchup for himself irritated several people, but none moreso than Carl from Pea Ridge, who lodged a formal protest with the Tournament Committee. Of course, Hawkins, being who he is, simply paid off…