Captain Jackass Rides Again – Right Into Your House

I smell a skunk. Sen. Jason Rapert (R-Bigotlow) is fired up and blazing1 onto the scene again to rescue 585,030 voters from themselves. In yesterday’s episode of Stanley Knows Best,2 Captain Jackass continued grinding away with his wacky attempts to undo the will of the voters, and he filed an amendment to SB3573 to the Arkansas Medical Marijuana Amendment of 2016.

Yep, your eyes do not deceive you. You read that correctly.

In a list of items under the heading “This amendment does not permit a person to:” the following seven words were added to the list: “Smoke marijuana in any location in Arkansas”.

Any location…as in, anywhere and everywhere.

That’s right: Rev. Sen. “Dr.” Hilljack, a member of the party of individual liberty and personal freedom4, is not only telling the majority of citizens who voted to make medical marijuana legal that what they did was wrong and that he must save them, but he is also stepping in and telling them what they can or cannot do inside the confines of their own homes.5

From where does all of this stem? To be blunt, Stanley knows best of course!6 I believe it is purely out of his desire to protect others from second-hand smoke and for his love for the environment. After all, that would be a lot of carbon released into the ozone, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to stir the pot, further impacting climate change.7

Either that, or he was too daft to realize that banning smoking would not achieve his ultimate goal of nipping the Act in the bud and undoing the will of the voters.8 If he doesn’t want people smoking it anywhere in the state, I guess users will just have to resort to more creative methods, like vaping and extracts and edibles, since–apparently–StanJay doesn’t seem to have a problem with those.

This needs to be hashed out. If the legislature ends up going along with him, it will be a total drag. Voters would likely get fired up and clean out that joint, which would obviously result in a lot of green legislators. Hopefully this amendment will be squashed like a roach and send the Pharisee of Perry County’s plans up in smoke.9

As a reminder, however, if you disagree with Sen. Twatwaffle and this bill, you can contact him directly to discuss:

Stanley Jason Rapert

374 Breezewood Rd., Bigelow, AR 72016 [map]

[email protected] (In case you don’t get a response from [email protected].)

(501) 472-2794 (Personal cell phone)

(501) 336-0918 (This one is Holy Ghost Ministries AND his main contact number for Senate work; make of that what you will.)


  1. Look, the puns are not going to stop. Sorry not sorry.

  2. It’s like Everybody Loves Raymond, but even less funny.

  3. Why was this not SB420?

  4. LOL. Right.

  5. Dave’s not here, man

  6. Subject to numerous constitutional limitations. May cause incontinence. Void where prohibited. Do not use if you are allergic to bullshit. May stick to certain kinds of skin.

  7. I got through those sentences with a straight face somehow. I’m amazed.

  8. Which would leave many in a sour mood.

  9. Still not sorry for punning.

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22 comments for “Captain Jackass Rides Again – Right Into Your House

  1. William Wilson
    February 17, 2017 at 4:24 pm

    That picture is HILARIOUS!

  2. Shirley Barnes
    February 17, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    Call your legislators and tell them – Forget about it

  3. Betty Fernau
    February 17, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    You’re killing me!!

  4. Jackie Fliss
    February 17, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    I’m laughing. I love puns.

  5. Barb Kampbell
    February 17, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    Your wording, so cute, blunts, pot, etc.

  6. Deborah Sallings
    February 17, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    Dave’s not here, man. Perfect. You have outdone yourself. Can’t even come up with any snappy ripostes, Dude.

  7. E.W. Swan
    February 17, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    Admittedly, he toke the initiative on this issue.

  8. Jeff Ballard
    February 17, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    First of all you’re degrading Cheech with that pic! Wtf

  9. Tammy Johnson
    February 17, 2017 at 6:01 pm

    Matt Campbell….you make my soul happy! U0001f389U0001f44dU0001f3fbU0001f602U0001f602U0001f602

  10. Connie Cagle Vogelgesang
    February 17, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    Then when he gets diseases or pains that can’t be “fixed” with “regular” drugs he can just NOT use pot. Leaves more for the rest of us.

  11. Ed Ross
    February 17, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    He has a horse?

  12. Tammy Johnson
    February 17, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    I sent the little crazy POS an email. Lol. This should be fun.

  13. Becks Cowling
    February 17, 2017 at 7:11 pm

    Question. Why is it legal for a state senator to take the time of so many to propose a law overriding the vote of the state’s voters?

  14. Nathan Franklin
    February 17, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    Rapert talka to me try to tell me how to live (bah dah dah bah dah dah dah dah)

  15. J Alan Saugey
    February 18, 2017 at 5:54 am

    He an Missy Thomas Erwin need to go away!
    Her dad is a doctor, wonder if her malpractice limits idea came from Daddy?

  16. Michael Shaver
    February 18, 2017 at 7:01 am

    Let the voters decide, unless they get it wrong.

  17. Tammy Johnson
    February 18, 2017 at 8:54 am

    Exactly. My former district in Faulkner Co is divided between Dumbass here, and Missy. Also the douche bag, Josh Miller. I’m soooo glad to be in Little Rock.

  18. Heather Lee Holaway
    February 18, 2017 at 8:55 am

    That Photoshopping tho.

  19. Dorris Jermyn Prather
    February 18, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Does he ever address anything substantial like poverty, healthcare, education, etc?

  20. Kate Wallis
    February 18, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Ya’ll have Rapert, I have Crackpot Collins and BreitBart Hester. God help us all

  21. Bo Callaway
    February 18, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    Look guys, I know you all voted for tacos…. but I got pizza with extra anchovies. It’s the same. Trust me.

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