Republicans, Megalomania, and You

Moments before she inserts her foot

If nothing else, your modern Republican is modest.  Well, modest in the way that Liberace was a modest dresser.  Whether it’s a new-found ability to channel the Founding Fathers in a way that meets your own myopic viewpoint or the knowledge that God, his-own-bad-self, tells you directly to invade a foreign country becauseMUSHROOM CLOUDS!, Republicans really, truly love themselves.  Have no experience, knowledge, intellect, or clue?  Congratulations! You’re obviously qualified to start a political consulting business.

Today, famous witch and former failed GOP Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell released a classic piece of work, one that even made Glenn Beck jealous with its self-love and overall paranoia.  Now?  I mini-Fisk (because I just don’t have the senility required to Fisk the entire thing.  Read this crap.  It’s incredibly tiresome.).

Dear Supporter, Your incredible contribution of time and money allowed us to send the establishment a powerful message last year. Our fight is not over as so many patriots like you have sacrificed over the years to keep America great!

Wait, what?  The establishment?  What does that mean?  Your second sentence is nonsensical, at best.  Mostly, it’s just insulting to my relatives who have served America and don’t believe in your brand of bullsh–.

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The Left keeps after me because they consider strong, Republican women a danger to their status quo. Larry Kudlow recently said “the hope of the Tea Party rests with you because this is going to be used to discredit the Tea Party in its entirety.”

First of all, I don’t know anybody who “keeps after” you.  You’re like a bad running joke on Saturday Night Live that continues to live on despite the fact said joke wasn’t funny in the first place and isn’t funny today.

As for strong women, do you think I run my household?  Oh no, not in the least.  Ms. bigfatdrunk runs the house with an iron fist.  Granted, she doesn’t believe in your agenda, Christine, but she also believes in science, math, and fact.

ChristinePAC can investigate and counter attack leftwing groups, many funded with one million dollars or more from billionaire leftist George Soros.

If there were one — just one — factual attack from people like you on the Left, I wish it was this one.  I rush to my mailbox, everyday, in the hopes that George Soros has sent a check to the Left.  I even check PayPal, I have a pigeon cage set up, and my son is fluent in smoke signals.  Alas, I haven’t received a single penny from that guy, and I’m Jewish!  You’d think he’d be especially down for me.

As for “investigat[ing] and counter attack[ing] leftwing groups”?  Please?  Somebody has to keep people like Lila Rose employed, and goodness knows this would be the first thing Republicans have done about increasing US employment in about 30 years.

A strong ChristinePAC will enable me to counter the liberal-controlled GOP establishment in upcoming Congressional Primaries.

All your conservatives are belong to us.

Your donation also enables me to speak out in many venues from Coast to Coast, thereby helping support a nationwide effort.

Other ways in which your donation helps Christine O’Donnell: mortgage, bills, plastic surgery, “I <3 Christine” stationary, food, time to apply for government funds to run a school, eye of newt.  Seriously.

My friend, what you helped me do at the six week long Battle of Delaware 2010, sent shock waves throughout the nation. We can build on what we have accomplished if you will help me again in supporting ChristinePAC.

Shock waves?  Your absolutely loony-bin run sent “shock waves throughout the nation?”

In a way, I guess you’re right.  Christine, your megalomania is truly outstanding.  In fact, your sense of self-worth is absolutely shocking, especially in light of your constant ability to lie about yourself.

To me, the greatest problem of people like George Bush and Sharrrrrrrrrron Angle and Christine O’Donnell is their complete lack of humility.  It reminds me of the movie “The Other Guys” when Highsmith and Danson bite the dust.  The pure arrogance — coupled with paranoia — is incredibly dangerous, yet, it’s some sort of badge of honor for people like O’Donnell.  And I’d bet a 6-pack of Shiner 102 she has no idea how harmful she’d be to the nation if ever elected.

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