SC-Sen: Alvin Greene, Payday Candy Bars, and Squirrel Turds

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What are things that are incredibly nutty?

Alvin Greene knows exactly how to create jobs in this struggling economy. “Make toys of me,” he says.

In an interview with The Guardian, the reliably eccentric South Carolina Senate candidate pitches his jobs plan, which involves creating a tiny army of Alvin Greene action figures.

“Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an Army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids,” the Palmetto State’s accidental Democratic nominee says. “That’s something that would create jobs.”

And really, Greene insists, he’s not kidding. “I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up,” he tells The Guardian. “That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.”

I… I just… wow.