Monday, May 27, 2024

Who Have You Wronged, Mr. Maggio? Hog Nation Turns Its Angry Eyes To You. (Woo woo wooooo.)

While some here might consider it a character flaw, I must admit that I have at least one friend who considers himself an LSU fan.

Recently, he sent me a screenshot from an LSU message board — — and asked, “Assuming the poster in this screenshot is actually a judge, (a) isn’t his posting this a pretty big deal and (b) think you can figure out who he is?”

My friend isn’t a lawyer, so I expected that the screenshot would be something a little strange but not anything worth digging into. Then I looked at it.

Theron 1

Of course, because adoptions are confidential, we have no way of proving that this actually happened beyond circumstantial proof. Timing-wise, the post would fit, however.  Also, the poster gave other information that matches up:

Theron 2

So, if you start from the premise that the poster is a judge and is telling the truth about the adoption, this post is a big deal in terms of judicial ethics. A big enough deal, in fact, that I decided to dig into it and see if I could figure out the judge’s identity.

Imagine my surprise, then, when it quickly became obvious that it was an Arkansas judge: Circuit Judge and Court of Appeals Candidate Mike Maggio. Even more surprising, in addition to leaking confidential adoption information, Judge Maggio apparently has a habit of making sexist, racist, and homophobic comments. A lot of them.

But let’s back up. First, how do I know it’s Judge Maggio?

Well, we know that Judge Maggio went to Millsaps for undergrad, then went to Ole Miss for the first two years of law school before transferring to the University of Arkansas-Little Rock to finish. And Geauxjudge?


Transfer Law School

We know that Mike Maggio graduated from St. Stanislaus High School in Bay St. Louis, MS, in 1979.  And geauxjudge?

Plus, geauxjudge seems very, very well-versed in the athletic exploits of Judge Maggio’s daughter (click to enlarge).

mary maggio

Based on all of that, I’m more than comfortable concluding that geauxjudge is Mike Maggio. What I’m less comfortable with is the types of things that Judge Maggio thinks it is alright to post under a pseudonym. We’ll break them into categories below, but this represents a “Greatest Hits” at most. And I only went back three years, so who knows what a person might find if you went back past February 2011.

Also, for context as to why these are problematic (beyond just the sheer bigotry and ignorance), I suppose you need to be aware of a few rules that apply to judges.

Rule 1.2. A judge shall act at all times in a manner that promotes public confidence in the independence, integrity, and impartiality of the judiciary, and shall avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety.

Official Comment [2]: A judge should expect to be the subject of public scrutiny that might be viewed as burdensome if applied to other citizens, and must accept the restrictions imposed by the Code.

Official Comment [6]: Actual improprieties include violations of law, court rules or provisions of this Code. The test for appearance of impropriety is whether the conduct would create in reasonable minds a perception that the judge violated this Code or engaged in other conduct that reflects adversely on the judge’s honesty, impartiality, temperament, or fitness to serve as a judge.

Rule 3.1. A judge may engage in extrajudicial activities, except as prohibited by law or this Code. However, when engaging in extrajudicial activities, a judge shall not: [***]
(C) participate in activities that would appear to a reasonable person to undermine the judge’s independence, integrity, or impartiality.

Official Comment [3]: Discriminatory actions and expressions of bias or prejudice by a judge, even outside the judge’s official or judicial actions, are likely to appear to a reasonable person to call into question the judge’s integrity and impartiality. Examples include jokes or other remarks that demean individuals based upon their personal characteristics.

Makes sense, right? Right. So, without further ado, I present:


Two Needs Wagon

Golden Vagina 1

Sluts and Whores

Before He Cheats

Rodeo Sex

Women Stay Together

Bulges 1

He also opines on relations post-marriage, makes that same “joke” about bulges many times, why a man should sell Mary Kay,   repeats the wisdom about “golden vaginas”, explains why women generally shouldn’t get alimony, thinks that you should “raise your own kids” instead of paying for childcare, refers to “Vitamin P”, implies that American education is failing because all the easy girls major in education, laughing about “riding” bi-polar women, talks about gynecology, says women are ridiculous because they want husbands who don’t work all the time, refers to wives as “chattel”,  references his own sexual shortcomings, and . . . whatever the hell this is.


Black By Injection

Drink Like Indians

Teepee or Hotel

White Tattoos

Light Skinned Owners

Segregation Theater

(I have my doubts on this one. True Grit was released in June 1969, when Maggio was 7 or 8. Malco Theaters had integrated their southern movie houses in 1962. It seems highly unlikely that there was still an overtly segregated theater, even in Mississippi, by summer of 1969.)

Names 2


Asian Man


Disneyworld Gay 2

Gay Week at DW

Gay Sex Bestiality

Gay Lesbian and Cheating


Bike Riders

Forced Knees


Jen B 2

Jen Porkin

Van Buren

Arkansas Incest Squeal

Arkansas Incest 5

Arkansas Incest 4

Arkansas Incest 2

Arkansas Incest caps

Arkansas Squeal

Arkansas Bestiality Ha Ha

That wouldn’t be a defense at all. But why should a judge in Arkansas know the importance of Arkansas Supreme Court case holdings?


WW2 Income Taxes

Yeah…that’s not even remotely right.

Joe Kennedy

Joe Kennedy had exclusive import rights for Dewar’s and Haig & Haig, both of which he obtained in the 1920s. He did not become Ambassador to the United Kingdom until 1938.  But, you know, cool guys like Maggio don’t actually care about facts.

ADD Game System

Vibrator Pants


That’s just . . . yeah. Unfunny (in any language), juvenile, and a butchered attempt to seem like he speaks French.

Again, this guy is running for Arkansas Court of Appeals. After putting this post together, I can’t fathom a reason that anyone who wasn’t also a terrible person would vote for the man. But I’ve been disappointed by such outcomes before.

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