Monday, May 27, 2024

Guest Post(mortem): The “What Now?” Top Ten

As luck would have it, family matters had me flying out of Little Rock on Wednesday, before the ink on the 2014 election returns was even dry. While trying to wrap my head around what exactly happened on Tuesday, I received an email from a reader, entitled “Ten Things Arkansas Democrats Should Do.” Because I think this list, though tongue-in-cheek, pretty much nails my thoughts on the import and impact of Tuesday’s blood-letting, I present it to you as the semi-official BHR 2014 General Election Postmortem:

    1. Hire Jeff Long as a motivational speaker. Nothing will really change, but he will convince us that the team will be better in two years.
    2. Take a Saturday drive up I-49. Enjoy the beautiful leaves before the Koch brothers log it off. Enjoy the smooth road before the trucking lobby gets the diesel tax reduced.
    3. Open a bar named Winnie’s in Hot Springs. Open a sandwich shop named Ronnie’s next door.
    4. Get the Person of Interest crew to hack the Fayetteville Lowe’s security cameras. They can live-stream Mark Martin shopping on state time.
    5. Remind Tim Griffin that he has a position, not a job.
    6. Open an auction company that specializes in rural hospital equipment sales.
    7. Make the Democratic student organizers get a job bootlegging beer from Altus to Russellville and Conway. They might be effective if they actually knew what was happening on campus.
    8. Read the D-G editorial praising Asa’s management skills next summer. Avoid the temptation to say that Huckabee never got the bureaucracy out of autopilot either.
    9. Watch Leslie Rutledge morph into Bristol Palin. Enjoy watching John Brummett snap out of depression.
    10. Take a weekend trip to Eureka Springs. Realize that artists, bikers, beer, Christians, gays, opera, rednecks, sweet tea, and tourists can peacefully co-exist. We will survive.

With love from,

The Last Blue Dog in Sebastian County

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