Monday, May 20, 2024

AR-04: She’ll See Me Laugh Uncontrollably

In response to her poor showing in the public-speaking portion of the contest, Ms. Magnolia, Beth Anne Rankin, is scurrying to make up some points with the judges in other areas. For the talent competition, however, Rankin eschewed the chance to show her abilities as a campaigner and fundraiser and, instead, composed and performed an original song, “She’ll See Me Stand.”

Regarding her opus, Rankin did not explain her interesting decision to rhyme the words “war” and “soil,” and instead said:

I began working on this song over a year ago after I saw a horrifying photo where some thugs had desecrated an American flag and then ran it back up the poll [sic]. It made me furious, and so I sat at my piano and started working on a song to honor the red, white and blue symbol of our great country.

In an odd move that might cost her some points with the judges, Rankin also added this rather ominous threat:

The song will be available on starting Tuesday, September 14.

Up next, we have the eveningwear competition. Rankin is the slight favorite, but rumor has it that Mike Ross has great legs.

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