AR-01: Wooldridge Is Not A Carburetor?

    86

    Noted horrible person Tim Wooldridge has a new commercial out.

    If metaphors were people, whomever designed this ad would be wanted for murder.

    I mean, is Wooldridge the carburetor?  That would kind of make sense, inasmuch as the carburetor is where fuel and air are mixed into a combustible fuel that makes the engine run.  That would actually be a pretty cool metaphor had they run with it.

    Instead, we go from the engine won’t run without a carburetor to Washington D.C. won’t run if it’s broken.  Um, Tim, the engine isn’t broken — you’ve just taken a part off.  If I unplug my computer, I haven’t broken it.  Maybe “Washington won’t run if it’s missing a key piece” or something like that would have made more sense?

    Also, “lots of folks can fix a truck, but the one person who can fix Washington is you?”  Considering you (and your dad) are fixing the truck, maybe that’s not the best phrasing there.  Because it plays as “lots of folks can do what I’m doing, but vote for me anyway.”

    Seriously, how hard would it have been to go with “Tim as carburetor” for the theme?  “This is a truck.  It won’t run without this carburetor.  Washington won’t move forward if it is missing a key piece, either.  I am an effective senator who can reach across the aisle (i.e. mix fuel and oxygen) and make government run more efficiently.  You might not be able to fix your own truck, but you have a chance to fix your government.  All it takes is putting the right parts back in the engine by voting for me, Tim Wooldridge.”  I did that in under a minute, I didn’t butcher the metaphor, and I guarantee that ad would be more effective because it would actually make sense and would provide a simple, straightforward message.

    In the end, though, maybe this ad is for the best.  It’s not very persuasive or well done, so I can’t imagine it will sway many voters your way, which is what I would prefer.  That leaves more votes for David Cook.