Wednesday, May 18, 2022

The Rut Marches On, Rolls Over Hutchinson in Upset

Note: Despite being part of the “Over That Way” region, this game took place in Cowfart, Iowa, as it was impossible to get both teams to be in Arkansas at the same time during actual working hours.

Arkansas Attorney General Leslie “The Rut” Rutledge had a clear gameplan for Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson: sell out early. After all, as The Rut has learned, Joe Fan will always get behind a gal who appears open to whatever the current trend is in conservative politics.

So that is exactly what The Rut did. By the time Hutchinson realized what was going on, Rutledge had already sold herself to Big Coal, Big Oil, the NRA, and any other group that preys on low-information voters. Hutchinson attempted the “oppose opiod manufacturers” attack, only to realize that Rutledge had also beaten him to that gambit.

A second-half attempt by Hutchinson to use what he learned from turning a blind eye to Barry Seal’s running of cocaine and guns into Mena was too little, too late. Ultimately, in a game between two soulless special-interest GOP sellouts, it was (as always) the one who would sell out the biggest, the fastest, who prevailed. The Rut will go up against Mike Holcomb in the Elite Eight.

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