Cagey Griffin Out-Maneuvers Hawkins

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Bruce Hawkins’ ability to rig the first-round matchup for himself irritated several people, but none moreso than Carl from Pea Ridge, who lodged a formal protest with the Tournament Committee. Of course, Hawkins, being who he is, simply paid off the Tournament Committee and made that little problem go away. He really dislikes Carl, I think.

Hawkins’ shadiness, however, pales in comparison to Tim Griffin’s, and nowhere was that more obvious than in their second-round matchup. Hawkins tried to arrange a “loan” to the officials, but Griffin thwarted that by having the officials’ credentials revoked through an elaborate caging scheme that involved sending mail to addresses where the officials no longer lived. Hawinks tried to get loyal legislators lined up to support his game plan, but Griffin’s team, coached by Karl Rove, managed to get so much dirt on those legislators that they pulled their support for Hawkins. In a weird twist, no game was actually played; Hawkins merely conceded defeat to the more talented Griffin and walked away.